Poetry
I recently received a complaint about the lack of poetry on my blog, so here's a little ditty I threw together for you all...

Ode on a Straffordvillian Urn
There once was a guy named 'Steve',
Whose wife became quite bereaved,
When I kicked his ass,
For having no class.
He should've just laughed up his sleeve.

Please forward all literary awards and accolades (and cash prizes) directly to my literary agent.
Thank you.