Roll Up the Rim to LOSE!
For the most part, I'm a pretty lucky guy. I fall ass-backwards into sweet jobs, I get out of speeding tickets, and I haven't been beaten up in a long time (this is a feat for anyone who's ever seen me turn into Phineas Gage after a few pints). I've won petty contests and prize draws all over the place, but for some strange reason, I can't catch a break this year in Tim Horton's 'Roll Up the Rim to Win'.
I buy coffee like a Mofo... if I'm in a car for more than 10 minutes, I need a large Double Double in my hand... and I basically breathe the stuff at work, so i thought that odds would be on my side. However, so far all I've won is one measly donut. ONE! Jen, on the other hand, has been rolling up winners like gangbusters... all donuts, but still... the rush of seeing something other than 'Please Play Again/Re-essayez SVP' is better than nothing.
In past years, I've had 'The Touch'. Two years ago, when everyone started complaining that it was impossible to get a winning cup, I went 1 for 1 all season. I was batting .500. That's pretty impressive, even if it's a lame-o contest and all I won was free coffee and donuts (no big prizes). If I had odds like that in the lottery, I could quit my job and become a Grifter of sorts.
I'm going to try to cheat the system though. Rather than rolling up the rim as soon as I finish my coffee (like everyone else does), I'm going to clean the cup, stash it in my apartment, and forget about it for a while. I'll let them stack up for a few weeks and maybe the lack of attention will force them to turn into winning cups. No one likes to be ignored, and after a few weeks of not being rolled up, any one of us would gladly turn into a winning plasma screen TV in order to get some attention. I'll let you guys know how it turns out.